“In the earlier stages when he could still walk, I could manage bringing him to the daycare centre while taking care of his meals and other daily needs. However, he got weaker over time and could no longer walk. It became immensely challenging for me to care for him.”
Mrs Lui, Wife and Caregiver to Mr John Lui
The Day that Dark Clouds Appeared
Life was simple but happy for Mr and Mrs Lui as they raised their two children together over the years. However, a visit to the doctors in 2019 would change their lives permanently. What seemed like a slight immobility in John’s legs turned out to be the onset of stroke and vascular dementia. As his condition deteriorated rapidly, Mrs Lui found herself in a state of loss and stress. She also found it difficult to accept that her husband, her constant pillar of strength, had not only lost his ability to work, but now struggles with activities of daily living. The sudden changes were not what she was prepared for.
Despite help from her daughter who lives with them and the occasional support of her sister, the bulk of the caregiving fell on Mrs Lui.
Finding Light in the Darkness
Mrs Lui became increasingly disheartened as she searched for a nursing home to care for her husband but to no avail. Caregiving was overwhelming and through her darkest days, her family and friends prayed along with her. Mrs Lui’s prayer was answered and hope came when she was then introduced to MWS Bethany Nursing Home – Choa Chu Kang (BNH).
Touched by MWS BNH’s care philosophy and the sincere staff during her visit, she decided to apply for John’s admission in June 2022. However, the joy from the new-found relief was soon overshadowed by anxiety about the hefty cost of long-term care. She turned to God again in prayer. This time, light came through the support of MWS case manager, Eva Yeo, who assisted in obtaining financial assistance that alleviated Mrs Lui’s concerns about costs.
These days, while Mr Lui still wrestles with feelings of guilt, she has accepted that MWS BNH is the best care option for John where the staff are able to attend to his various needs 24/7. “My heart feels like I am abandoning him in the Nursing Home. I really miss him and want to care for him, but I realise I just can’t. I am really grateful for the care he is receiving here.”
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